It's An "Adventure"!

Life is quite strange at times. My philosophy on life goes like this: "It's an Adventure!"

Many years ago when my late husband, Richard Henry Stalter, and I were newlyweds we had a crisis come up while we were going somewhere. We were both quiet for a little bit then we looked at each other and said together "It's an Adventure!" That was the start of our philosophy of weathering our way through some pretty scary stuff, car breakdowns, financial difficulties, health problems and more. We also had good and happy adventures along the way to balance all the negative ones. These we called "Serendipity".

We used this phrase many times during our marriage. What we found out was we tapped into ourselves and made it through the dark times, the sad times, the uncertain times and even happy times. With each adventure, good or bad, we learned lessons and we learned about ourselves as well as each other. We grew as people and as a couple. We became stronger individually and in our marriage.

With each lesson learned and growing stronger we gained something else. We gained wisdom, understanding and compassion. The wisdom that we gained we used to help others. We did not judge others but ourselves in their place in order to try to understand where they were coming from, in a manner of speaking. We also learned how to laugh together, have fun together and find the joys in life.

When Rick died suddenly in November of 2004, it was the beginning of yet another adventure for both of us. I don't like to think about his adventures as being over and done with. I think of him as going on and having an adventure on his own. Just as I am having my own adventures now.

I think he is up in heaven. He's meeting people that he's always wanted to know as well as finding people he knew in life like my youngest brother Donald and our friend, Steve Albus. I also know he's probably up there right now fishing, writing poetry, running and all the other things that he could no longer do or stopped doing before he died.

I have used the time since his death to grow and to learn. Slowly, I am regaining my strength again. I have begun building my life again and can now see a future for myself along with that of our son and daughter. We've met new friends and are getting reacquainted with some old ones. I want to make the best of the life I have left. I want Rick to be proud of me.

Yes, I have had some struggles, trials, tribulations, and what not. But, I am still here! I still have health and our two kids. I have had to make some decisions, not all of them good, but I still survived my booboos. I am learning to handle things on my own. Things are beginning to work and to jell. I have dared to do stuff on my own. I dared to take my son out of public school to home school him. I have dared to force our daughter to get help when it would have been easier for me to just let her go and let her stay with me for the rest of my life. I did not want that for her. In the long run, it would not have been fair to her or to myself.

This winter I will be beginning a new adventure. I will be going back to school to begin working towards an eventual Masters degree. It will be a totally new environment. Challenges, fun, social, frustration, hard work, and sacrifices are some of the things that I know are ahead of me. But I also know that there will lots of new stuff to learn, new friends to meet, and things to find out about the world we live in.

Whatever happens in the next few month or year with school and with life, no matter what, It's An Adventure!

An Observation Made Over The Last Few Months

People watching is something that has been a hobby for me a long time. One thing I have observed is that there is something missing from our lives. Indeed, I think that a lot of our today's young people don't even have these words in their vocabularies much less know that these concepts exist. Perhaps it was never been taught to their parents.

The words I speak of are instinct and intuition. What I mean by these is including them in your life. They can help make good decisions or at least avoid making some really big mistakes. Instinct is something that is inborn with each new life. Watch a mother bird with new hatchlings or a mother dog or cat with their newborn litters. You will understand what I mean. These mothers instinctively know what to do and when to do it, how to protect their young and to keep them safe. Yes, I think some of it is learned behavior but not all of it.

Instinct is one of nature's tools for species survival. It is a tool for learning. And it is a tool for interaction. It's knowing what to do in the moment.

Intuition has more to do with the future and is more of an internal reaction of sorts, in my opinion. It's that gut feeling most of us have and usually choose to ignore. It's that feeling deep down inside that you should or should not do something before you do it. It's that something that tells you within yourself something is about to happen. It's that little feeling you get about people you meet. Ever have one of those unexplained times when you absolutely had to do something and with no rhyme or reason you went ahead and did it? It could be that you knew a friend needed your help and you went to them and found out you were right. Or, it could be something you felt you should not do but went ahead and did it anyway and had it end up badly.

I mention these two concepts because I see an extreme lack of them lately. Everybody seems to be trying to live a TV life maybe. You know the kind of thing I mean. Mom and Dad are hurry, hurry, busy with their jobs and careers while at the same time trying to keep things together at home. Plus on top of everything Son has school, a job, and two or three extracurricular activities and a girlfriend (did I forget to mention he's a straight A student?). The same with his Sister. Does anyone in this family have time together to be a family much less get to know each other.

High achievement is laudably a good thing, don't get me wrong. I am in favor of it. To a point. But I also believe in Balanced Living where high achievement, busy-ness, instinct and intuition can cohabitate in harmony.

But what I also see is a lot of unhappy people living together. Is there any wonder why drugs and alcohol are getting worse as a social disease? Is there any wonder why so many people on so many prescription medications for anxiety, pain, depression, high blood pressure and high cholesterol? Is there any wonder why any job title that involves therapy and counseling is predicted to be in high demand for many years to come? Really? Really!

What I see happening is a lack of focus on the basic things of life, getting the priorities right for oneself, and a lack of really asking oneself what is important to oneself.

Each person should ask themselves what is important to them? What has meaning for them? What really matters to them? What makes them happy? Do they like where they are at in life? Do they spend enough time for themselves? Do they spend time with others? Do they spend time helping strangers? The list of questions one could ask themselves is endless. For each person that list will be different from their partner's, their childrens' and everyone else around them.

I have also seen a strange mix in people that I have observed over the past few months lately. That is people seem to be focused solely on themselves and their needs to the exclusion of almost everything else yet at the same time they don't spend any time for themselves. Do that make any sense to anyone? It sounds bizarre, I know.

Anyway, these are just my observations and opinions only. I don't have any theories or suggestions to offer here. I could also be wrong in the interpretation of what I have observed. I don't know. Time will tell though. Think about it.